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AYHLIS: The Unclaimed Community We All Should Fear

ayhlis

With so many of us turning into “Mr./Ms. Know-it-all” today, it doesn’t take much time for a conversation to turn into a discussion first, second into an argument, then into a quarrel and eventually into a fight, owing majorly to the egotistically supreme nature that these Messrs and The Misses have developed lately, which is predominantly based on absolutely nothing logical at all. It is shockingly ludicrous to find people who have such tenacious standpoints, judgments and perceptions about things they know about only by a hair’s breadth. You can find them everywhere. They are in your offices, in your gym, in trains, buses, flights, at bars and clubs, on social networking forums, in your neighborhood and friend circle, even in your family. And they talk. They talk about whole collection of subjects as if they really know them (they are deluded too :D), be it education,  career, politics/government, environment, policies and rights, medicine, armed forces, terrorism, finance, technologies, countries, law, food, travel, science, history, religion, taboos, socialism, communalism, secularism and a lot more. And also, by obscuring these pitiful vapid little minds even more, the media today is adding more subjects to the unending list of topics to debate upon by these resolute scholars of modern India; a few examples of such subjects would be Tolerance/In-tolerance, Nationalists/Anti-Nationalists, Feminism/Misogyny and more.

The scary part is that these half-literate, attention yearning preachers with copious amounts of energy to blabber and the same amount of confidence if not more, are plenitude. You might not believe me when I say all that. That would obviously be not a shocker for me as I myself got face to face with this hollow specie of humans only when I took off my earphones in public, apparently to relax my eardrums, but the whole idea back-fired in an instant. I found everyone around me talking and talking utter non-sense, and that too about stuff that a 6 year old could have comprehended of being “utter non-sense”. What was more of a hair raiser for me was to watch people buy what this unique specie had to offer them in these highly provocative conversations as I watched their heads swinging from top to down in affirmative motion which made me laugh and worry at the same time. If you want some proofs of their absurdity you can always check-out the comment section on any post (preferably something related to religion or an ongoing political controversy) on any of social networking forums and you will know what kind of mess they create down there. Five minutes of good read can make you dizzy and make you long for your favorite alcoholic beverage.

It has become imperative to realize the dangers and consequences of being too close to this majority class named AYHLIS (Attention-Yearning-Half-Literate-Scholars). Let us know AYHLIS some more and find how can AYHLIS be dangerous for other sensible minorities.

 

  • They are mostly permanent citizens of this country which means they play role in choosing the government by using their wit based on the partial knowledge they accumulate either through television or through social media or through a fellow AYHLIST (Attention Yearning-Half-Literate-Scholar).

 

  • They always have an audience to persuade. Those with lack of education, experience and who fall into even lower strata in terms of logic, sense and knowledge than the members of AYHLIS are in abundance too and these are the ones who turn out to be AYHLIS’ fans and followers at later stages.

 

  • With confidence as high as a hippie high on crystal meth and ketamine combined, its hard for you to make them understand anything whatsoever. It’s easier to make a dead cat understand that it is dead.

 

  • Their confidence and defiance helps them build a lot of credibility among equally untutored audience, which with the help of their breathtaking level of ignorance and lack of prudence are capable of raising a mob, and The Mob is powerful than everything else in our democratic nation.

 

  • AYHLIS have to have a say in every conversation no matter if they are a part of it or not. They have a viewpoint on everything that they are even remotely related to or otherwise, and they would rather die forcing their viewpoint upon you than understand yours; that is the level of commitment and integrity they show towards their goals.

 

  • They believe in forceful edification, what we call naseehat in Urdu and muft ka gyan in Hindi. The topics for edification can vary from your family to your relationship with your spouse, from your career to what car you should buy, from your hairstyle to what friends you should choose, from what you should wear to when you should get married and to whom. One important thing to note here is that the member of AYHLIS community need not be an expert in any of the fields mentioned above to provide you with edification.

 

  • One key characteristic of AYHLIS is that they never perform where no one is seeing because then the whole point is lost. They yearn attention hence perform in full public view which makes social network their favorite area of operation. Next come restaurants, pubs, trains and other public places. It is not uncommon to spot these members with fellow members to seek support when the argument somehow gets weak.

 

  • Mastering the art of imitation has aided them in keeping the conversations going even if they do not have enough substance to talk about. They imitate each other, news anchors, their favorite actors, poets, sometimes even you and everyone else they could and yet they claim their originality.

 

  • Two of the most important attributes that this community has earned during the course of their journey are their inability to understand sarcasm and the ability to change the direction of the whole conversation altogether. Both these attributes were important to be listed together as they go hand in hand. Their inability to understand sarcasm or satire of any sort, even if in their support, is complimented by their ability to turn the conversation to another direction preferably towards some kind of spiteful controversy in order to reach their goal of insulting the silent and sane, making themselves bigger somehow.

 

  • The best way to identify an AYHLIST is that you would never hear them say “I don’t know”. You start the topic and they will talk about it, though making sense is not a pre-requisite. They also master the art of contradicting themselves whenever required. They are known for wearing double standards on their sleeves and hypocrisy round their waists.

 

I personally would want to warn you against this new but fast growing community of becoming  the biggest potential threat to your mental harmony and hence make an appeal to you stay away from it and pledge not to become a part of it yourself.

 

^ Issued in public interest

                                                                                                                                                                    -Anant Gyan Singh

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